It’s undeniable that Marines built the Church of the Silkie.
Even though the super-short shorty-short that doesn’t do much to cover up the body’s lower half isn’t technically a part of the uniform, the garment holds a cult-like status within the Corps. Like many religions, there are sacred texts. The Church of the Silkie, I recently learned, is no exception.
While researching this week’s cover story, I found a solemn devotion to the shorts written in an Amazon.com review by a Marine stationed in Cairo. I kind of felt like Indiana Jones finding the Ark or the Holy Grail when I stumbled upon this missive. It says, in part:
“These shorts are the best thing to happen to me since the creation of democracy. Nothing screams freedom like … these justice inducing booty shorts. …I especially love to duo these buttocks displaying power pants with a skin tight American flag tank-top. If you love bald eagles, freedom, and flexing your quads at strangers for the simple pleasure of gauging their reaction, then I highly encourage you to hop on the freedom train and purchase these shorts. They do not disappoint.”
Church of the Silkie doctrine requires believers recite this prayer before every workout. The faithful will be rewarded with the comfort only silkies can provide and a perfect score on the PFT.
You can read that homage to silkies in full, along with many other entertaining reviews on the short shorts, here.